The Truth: Psychic Guidance, Spiritual Growth, and Lake Monsters

I have a confession to make.

I would like to throw trite advice at you because it means I don’t have to change. Part of me wants to say things that are safe, that scream personal development, that are valuable in some official, businessy way, that people in suits would nod their heads at.

But that would be dishonest.

Because when it comes right down to what I need to grow, that crap doesn’t cut it.

Literally. I love the advice. It’s nice. It makes me feel good. But it doesn’t cut through the massive amounts of BS in life that I have to deal with on a daily basis.

So I can’t do that to you.

Psychic Powers

Lately I’ve been going through a workbook called The Psychic Pathway by Sonia Choquette, to help you develop your psychic powers. Or intuition, as I think of it, because “psychic” sounds to me like emotionally unstable old ladies with purple shawls shouting at invisible gremlins.

Why?

Because every time I set goals and go for them, my intuition leaps out of the bushes, hits me with a taser, steals my wallet, and leaves me panting on the pavement with skinned knuckles and no idea what’s going on.

I set goals I don’t believe in.

Like when I thought I was going to be a lawyer, or when I thought I was going to go to an ivy league college to major in journalism, or when I thought I was supposed to marry a stockbroker, or when I thought I would be a professor, or when I thought I should be able to convince people I was normal.

These are obscenely stupid goals for me. It should have been obvious from the start.

And it was obvious, on some level. That quiet intuitive level that I never listen too.

The Loch Ness Monster

My intuition is like the Loch Ness Monster. I think I’m going somewhere, when this creature I don’t even believe in rises out of the deep, smashes my boat to bits, and vanishes before I can get a picture to prove anything.

In fact, I have a recurring dream of swimming across a lake with a huge shadow swimming beneath me.

I thought that this was just my imagination for a long time. I also decided it was unsafe to go anywhere in life (what with muggers and lake monsters beating me up and then leaving me without proof).

I have been trying to plot my destinations in life to avoid the Loch Ness Monster. No mysterious truth from the depths. No sudden left turns. And I don’t think I can go anywhere fulfilling if I do.

I need to life to move again. So I am on a quest to find the Loch Ness Monster, sit down with her, and have an earnest conversation about where she suggests I go, since she doesn’t like any of my ideas.

I think I need a different kind of system. I need to go with what feels right right now, rather than praying I figure out some kind of big picture Destination – mysteriously capitalized, very obvious, and fixed.

I need to be able to hear my intuition.

I need to believe my intuition is worth listening to.

Sexy Gremlins and Tracking Monsters

And this is the problem with the personal development. It helps, it advises. But it also gives us an excuse not to swim down to bottom of the lake to talk to our monsters.

This is also the problem with tarot, astrology, and numerology. With meditation and gardening.

They can be sexy gremlins.

They can calm you, teach you, guide you and heal you. But they can also be an excuse not to grow.

They can be the isle of refuge from the storm, but you aren’t supposed to move in, put on a grass skirt, and set up a tiki-bar on the beach. You have to get back in the boat and keep sailing.

Of course, sexy gremlins can also help you track your lake monster. Since lake monsters are hard to see, you need signs and skilled trackers.

The gremlins are not The Answer, but they give you something to think about, something to follow, as you look for the depths of yourself.

So as much as I would like to tell you that I am off starting a business and being a productive member of society, I have to tell you the truth.

I am looking for my lake monster.

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Comments

  1. Odysseus wisely avoided the island of the sirens. In spite of the appeal, he knew the pleasures would end his journey. When Odysseus did arrive home, I suspect he found the destination unsatisfying.

    Gardening is a circular journey: dirt, growth, harvest, dirt. It’s the uncertainty of that journey that makes it exciting. You might not get the growth and harvest parts. As with Odysseus, it’s not the destination but the challenge of the journey that satisfies the spirit.

    And what does that mean? I think it means we seek the challenge of uncertainty and the satisfaction of the little day-to-day triumphs. Sirens passed – check. Broccolli growing – check. All good, now what’s next? To pontificate a little, we should revel in the little daily successes and not be undone when we realize there are more challenges ahead. It’s when the challenges end that we stagnate. If we conquer the challenges, we risk being complacent and self-satisfied to such an extent that the next (inevitable) challenge knocks us on our respective asses.

    Nessie? I suspect she would say, “Swim. Enjoy the waters. Keep swimming. And, oh by the way, avoid people with cameras.”

    • Morgan Alverson says:

      You’re right that the challenges make the journey. It’s the small victories that matter, and if we really stood on top of all of them and there was nothing else to do, our heads would probably explode. Life isn’t fun without the challenges.

      I suspect Odysseus has been a popular topic of conversation for the last 2900 years or so because it’s so easy to interpret his journey in different ways. He’s a one-size-fits-all kind of guy, Nobody. From my perspective, he was sort of a pompous jerk who got himself into trouble, spent eight years on an island with a fertility goddess having a great time, and then told a bunch of stories about it afterwards to make himself look good. Also he killed everybody when he got home.

      But I suppose that’s neither here nor there. Perhaps the lesson is that each of our journey’s is a very shifty, personal thing, easy to interpret differently, and fun to tell stories about. :-)

      Thanks for reading Deb!

  2. Morgan, I adore your nifty ability of amazing storytelling.

    I love when you say: “I need to believe my intuition is worth listening to.”

    I you don’t believe your intuition is worth listening to then who will? Have you every found that she is shifty though? Does she seem to get louder & louder, harder to ignore the more you disbelieve in her? I know my intuition starts to yell at me like I am a naughty kid if I try and push her aside.

    Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty and integrity.

    • Morgan Alverson says:

      Thank you Nazrin! I love the image of the yelling intuition. Mine is more likely to quietly suggest I stop, then throw up her hands and say “Fine, try it all you want!” while I scrabble at the door like a baby who can’t reach the knob yet. Parenting is such a good metaphor for it. It’s like we are trying to parent ourselves into living our best lives. It sounds like you have done a pretty good job of listening to your intuition lately though. So congratulations, and keep up the good work! :-)

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