No-Mind: How to Actually Be Yourself

The great thing about commitment is that it makes it really clear to you what you should think about. I committed to writing about how to be yourself, and so I started thinking clearly for once about what it means to be yourself.

Here’s How to Be Yourself

Don’t try.

That’s it.

This is one of those answers that drives you nuts, that you hate for years, like “you will know when the time is right.”

But it’s true.


The Tao Te Ching calls it no-mind, although it says it in Chinese, so I can’t give you an exact translation.

The goal is to attain that state where you stop trying, you stop thinking about it, you sit down and do without meaning to, and everything flows.


You can’t really explain it, because the whole point is to shut up and go with it.

However, I can explain that all the explanations are just a distraction. They are the byproducts of your logical mind trying to make sense of what it doesn’t understand, because you don’t live by logic, you live by gut feel. We all do.

The trick is to recognize the gut-feel-intuition-magic thing in action and go with it. Let go. Notice the Logic, thank it for coming, and show it to its seat. Don’t let logic run the show. It can’t. It doesn’t have all the info it needs.

In life, we all fly by the seat of our pants. You are much more maneuverable if you don’t BS yourself into believing that there’s a jet airplane around you. You are making it up as you go.

There is all kinds of trite advice out there about how to make good decisions to live better.

I swear though, every really important decision I’ve ever made I never saw coming. I had all the right explanations and plans. And then life hit, threw them out the window, and when I finally shut up and let go of what I thought was supposed to happen, I noticed that the Right Direction had been thumping me in the back of the head trying to get my attention all along.

The thing is, God doesn’t send emails. The universe just points, like one of those annoying Zen Masters. It’s up to you to look. And the only way to see is to stop staring at what you think you are supposed to see. Stop explaining it to yourself. Stop trying to get it right. Stop trying in general.

Let go. And go with it.

The universe is waiting.

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