Lessons In Seriously Changing Part 2

Changing is exhausting. That’s not a lesson, it’s just obvious. All these pieces swirl around you, shouting instructions, and you are supposed to figure out how to put them together into a life.

Setting out to Change actually makes things harder than they need to be though.

You already are what you need to become.

If you think of caterpillars and butterflies, acorns and oak trees – you already have the blueprint inside of you and all the juice it will take to grow into what you need to be. It just requires a little time, space, and nurturance.

Your whole life is marked by the patterns of what you have been in the process of becoming. Your subconscious has been diving at what matters most to you when you least expect it, and you can build a whole story about how you were always becoming this, if you can just figure out what “this” is.

Listen to what’s stopping you.

Chances are whatever is holding you back has a message for you. There’s a process you need to go through to change, and you need to respect that process to make things work.

I, for example, feel much more comfortable learning about things than acting on new projects. But taking the time I need to learn about what I’m doing gives me the calm and mental space to feel much more confident taking action. Letting myself learn helps me act.

The thing is I’ve been disparaging myself for dawdling when I try to learn things or write about what I’m doing, since that’s not action. But it means I can’t learn or process properly, which makes it harder for me to act.

If I had just accepted the process I needed to go through, things would have moved much faster.

To change quickly, you need to accept where you are, and give yourself the resources you need to move forward. That might mean listening to trainings for an hour a day, or it might mean being buried in dirt all winter. It seems pointless in the short term, but in the long term this is what you need to bloom.

This is the path.

It is so sooo easy to focus on the future, on the thing you are going to be, the stuff you will have, the way life will be. Don’t.

Right where you are is right where you need to be. Maybe the opportunity isn’t ready yet. Maybe you need to learn something first. Maybe there is something you want to get out of the way things are now.

It all matters. Don’t focus on the future to the exclusion of the present. Dream, sure. But pay a lot of attention to where you are now and be positive about it. This – your current surroundings- they are here for a reason. Look for it. Accept them.

Everything that has ever happened needed to happen to get you right here. There were no mistakes. You needed it. All of it.

So appreciate where you are, and focus on the step in front of you. Just the next step. Don’t worry about the light at the end of the tunnel.

Do it with joy.

We take ourselves way too seriously. Do you think this struggle matters to the cosmos? Is it on par with the extinction of the dinosaurs, or the black plague?

That’s not to say you don’t matter, you do. This matters, because that’s what life is made of. It all matters.

But it can be easy to lose perspective. This is not that big of a deal. It hurts now, but it will be okay.

So cheer up. Find joy in little things. Learn from where you are. Become a better person. Connect with people. Love.

You can’t change everything right away, usually, so dig in to where you are and make it someplace beautiful.

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Comments

  1. “. . . you can build a whole story about how you were always becoming this, if you can just figure out what “this” is.”

    I like this idea. Every human life is a story. It’s pretty freakin’ amazing actually. And the best part is that we write our own story. So we can make it whatever we’d like.

    But there are no great stories without conflict, loss, and hard lessons. That’s just how it is. And our life is the same.

    Without the struggle, we would have no reason to grow. Nothing to build our character with. In the end, it’s our hardships that give us the strength to transform . . . not the times of plenty.

    Cheers!
    Trevor recently posted…Harnessing Pavlov’s Theory to go from Worrywart to a Fucking SuperheroMy Profile

    • Morgan Alverson says:

      You’re right – all the hardship is just building character and making a better story, as long as we keep up the courage and perspective to write in a good ending. And any story could be great. It’s just a matter of how we look at it.

  2. Prepare for the future. But live in the moment. And stop to smell the roses
    Christopher James recently posted…Joshua Pellicer TaoMy Profile

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