Gratitude Makes Distance, Praise Makes Fluff, Love Makes Possibility

Gratitude creates distance. “I should be grateful to you for that thing that you did that you didn’t have to do.” It reminds us of decisions that could have been made differently, and the past and the future, and all the ways that things don’t work out. It is a gift you give someone else for something that could be some other way.

Compliments and praise are fluff. “You look nice. You did good.” They distract you from what matters, because they are usually foregone conclusions. You know you have to give a compliment to make someone feel better, so you look for something good to say, but it’s not the best thing about them or what you really mean.

Love, on the other hand, is different. Love connects the lover and the loved, just like there is no distinction between the river and the ocean. Love flows into the cracks of all your deficiencies and makes them good in the same breath that it worships the best parts of you.

Love needs no object. You don’t have to find and label the good in someone, in contrast to the bad. In the present moment, love understands and accepts what is, while laughing in excitement for what is to become.

Love doesn’t distinguish good and bad. It transmutes everything into possibilities beyond our fondest daydreams.

Don’t think you should feel gratitude or you should give praise. If you do, great, but don’t force it.

You already feel love though, because love is the lifeblood in our veins. Love is what we live on. Love is what we live for.

Don’t should at love. Just feel it and let it out.

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