Just Do the Damn Thing: A Logical Refutation

1. I can’t.

You have fingers, legs, and you can move them. The computer is right here. You have the internet hooked up. The keyboard works (miraculously after being beaten mercilessly by an infant everyday). You are physically capable. You can. What more do you want?

2. I don’t know what to do.

By this, you mean you don’t know what to do that will be perfect so everyone will love it. You don’t know how it will turn out in advance.

No one ever knows that, it is impossible. Besides, those who have a good idea of how it will turn out got that idea by doing it about a thousand times and seeing it turn out a lot of different ways, many of which were not what we call successful. You will not know until after you have already done it.

3. It will suck if I do it now.

What, because it won’t suck if you wait fifteen years, or fifty years, and do it in a nursing home after sucking your dinner down through a straw? Because nothing anyone has ever done has sucked the first time they did it. Nope. – Obviously, this is false.

Everything sucks to some degree at some point. You will not avoid sucking, ever. You will not avoid sucking by waiting. In fact, the only way to avoid sucking is to do it and get better. Do it.

4. I will probably do it wrong.

We’ve been over this. YES. You will. You will do it wrong, and it will suck. You might even not realize it. Then, eventually you will figure it out, or do something that is better, or fix what you did wrong.

However, you absolutely will not do it right by waiting for an email from God with bullet point instructions and a money back guarantee. God’s email account was closed for going over its inbox space limitations. He is no longer sending email.

5. They’re all going to laugh at you!

Some of them will, yes. Indeed, this is desirable when you have just made cheap cracks about God’s email. Other times it will be undesirable. And that is okay. It’s much less likely that they will try to burn you at the stake, so millions of people in the history of humanity will consider you incredibly lucky and gladly trade places with you. Your punishment will be much less painful.

It’s also highly unlikely that they will go Carrie on you and soak you in a vat of pig’s blood, so you will not attain lunatic superpowers. And even if that does happen, you can harness your rage at the last minute to become a superhero rather than a vengeful crazy person, and that would be cool.

6. They will think I am an unprofessional fool.

Yes that might happen. Your dignity could be scarred for life. Every time you think of doing something for the rest of your time on Earth, you could stop yourself, for fear of being thought a fool, with the memory of being thought unprofessional.

Then, you are pretty much guaranteed to do absolutely nothing cool in life.

So which is worse? A life hiding in fear to protect your dignity from the possibility of being mocked? Or a life full of cool stuff with a bruised dignity? Bruises heal, but time does not go backwards.

7. The apocalypse will occur.

This, like most apocalypses, is a false alarm. Plan to reset the date for the apocalypse to ten years later, so that you can continue to have something unlikely to plan for. Or better yet, plan for reality, today, rather than for the apocalypse.

Additionally, if the apocalypse does occur, it won’t matter what you did before, and you will probably die, in which case you probably won’t care what happens after. If you do survive the apocalypse, however, you will probably be at a disadvantage if you are in the habit of cowering in fear over ultimately irrelevant things.

8. I’m afraid.

I know. It’s okay. That’s normal. Congratulations – you have a functioning amygdala.

Be grateful for the fear. It’s also a sign that you are about to do something meaningful.

Feel better? No? Well, that’s because you won’t feel better until after you do the damn thing.

So go do the damn thing. Go on.

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