Happiness, Contrary to the Promise of TV

Feeding your soul is not an option. It’s like eating every day. You have to, whether you want to or not. If you don’t, you will get sick and cranky. Having a healthy, well fed soul is not particularly appealing to mass media. It’s like how fast food commercials assure you that happiness comes from […]

Great Things, Small Things, and Truth

I have this thing for being grandiose. I want everything I do to be the best ever. I want to change the world. Only I’m very good at keeping it secret. I hate to brag. So it comes out in subtle ways. For example, I wrote a science fiction novel when I was twelve, and […]

How to Love Yourself: 4 Truths for Reviving Dead Self-Esteem

I gave up my self-esteem in high school. Literally, I thought it was uncool. It made me stand out. So I faked being a miserable drudge until I made it. I became afraid to look people in the eye. It was sort of like wild animals – I told myself. Look a high schooler in […]

Gratitude Rises from The Ashes

I admit, for a while now I have been burnt out on gratitude. I got high on joy, a few years ago, listing all the things I was grateful for. Then I had a nasty hangover. The problem was that I was invoking all the things I thought I should feel grateful for. Not the […]

Prove Your Power: Love Yourself

There is an old story about a powerful dragon. When taunted, the dragon decided to prove his great power by turning into a dragonfly. Then he was squished. The moral of the story is that if you try to prove your power, you have lost it. You have power. There is something distinctively you, something […]


“Patience is not sitting and waiting, it is forseeing. It is looking at the thorn and seeing the rose, Looking at the night and seeing the day. Lovers are patient and know the moon needs time to become full.” – Shams Tabrizi Great undertakings require patience. Fulfilling work, healthy bodies, happy kids, blooming gardens, deep […]

The Magic of What You Love: From Shit-Shoveling to Changing the World

When you love something, believe in it, and understand how it has the power to make the world more beautiful and good, magic happens. Life is so full of dirt and shit, we forget that even shit-shoveling is great when you’re having fun. The point is not to justify the trenches you have to dig. […]

It Looks Like Truth From Here

Saying what is true is harder than it sounds. You have to know what you think and feel, which is no easy task. But you also have to know why, and have the self-acceptance to realize that your motives are not completely perfect. You can’t say something true unless you have the insight to understand […]

Of Work and Love: In The Ancestral Mating Ground of Stupid Myths

In life, important goals and emotions are the ancestral mating ground for bull shit. This is why there are so many songs about falling in love, dating, and breaking up, and so few songs about what it is like to wake up next to someone who you have been married to for 30 years. Everyone […]

Gratitude Makes Distance, Praise Makes Fluff, Love Makes Possibility

Gratitude creates distance. “I should be grateful to you for that thing that you did that you didn’t have to do.” It reminds us of decisions that could have been made differently, and the past and the future, and all the ways that things don’t work out. It is a gift you give someone else […]